The hardest thing to me is the thing about meditation. What’s it for and what do I get from it? Will there be a state of mind where I glide away from reality and find myself in another dimension where I feel the energy and everything is connected? Or will there be the peace of mind? Happiness? Many promises are given when you start to meditate. There even shall be even medical advantages be seen in those who meditate.


How shall I meditate? There are so many options. There is this vipassana thing, there is the transcendental meditation method. There are a thousand variants. When I read the books from the monks who are teaching meditation they are always talking about endless meditations. I don’t have time for that. I also don’t want to get a meditation class or a teacher as I don’t live in a region where some good ones or those who I read about are available.


So, I start out to make my own experiences. First, trying to just sit still for a few minutes, without expectations and trying to not actively think about something.

Woah, this appears to be a hard task and I realize my mind is not stoppable.


I always knew, or better, learned over the last decades that the monkey mind can be a pain in the ass. Especially at night. You lie in bed and it goes round and round, variants of your youth memories, mixed emotions about forgotten friends, e-mails written in my mind, books written in my mind, philosophical questions answered and raised. Personal issues argued with close ones, dreams about a better future, dreams about a worse future, fear of the future, be afraid for my kids. All in one night. The dreams themselves while you’re asleep are something else.


How eliminate the monkey mind? It simply doesn’t work for me. So, I accept its existence and I try to ignore it from time to time. This is my mediation now.
Trying to sit in silence; doesn’t have to be completely silent around me, but I’ve to be silent. Trying to hear the silence of the universe. For at least two minutes.
What happens? I feel slightly better afterward.

That’s a start.